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Monday, 06 July 2009

  • It wasn't a question

    D called me to tell me when I was at the airport telling me that he had trouble falling asleep.

    "I miss you..i'm lying here in my bed and it feels odd without you."
    "I know right...oh well"
    "You know I'm going to marry you right?"
    "Yeah...But you will have to ask me properly the next time."
    " I will. But it wasn't a question. I was just telling you that I'm going to marry you."

    *Paused*

    Bitch.


Saturday, 04 July 2009

Sunday, 28 June 2009

  • After yesterday night, it finally dawn upon me that he means a lot to me.

    2.30 in the morning, it was pouring...I was going straight to the airport and that was how I plan for things to end. But I know, if i don't salvage this relationship, I'm going to regret it.

    2 hours in the wee hours with the taxi meter jumping to US$300 crossing the state line from Illinois to Wisconsin, I must be crazy. But I love him and I've hurt him enough. I don't want anybody else but him.

    I've always lived to watch my back so I wouldn't get hurt,
    But being insecure, I haven't gotten far. I guess I never learned.
    And the reason that I pushed you away was because I just felt numb.
    But now I feel the pain when I realize what we have become.
    I couldn't promise much before, but now my feelings grew,
    And I find myself falling farther away as I fall into you.
    -- Nothing Final


Saturday, 27 June 2009

  • Saturday rants


         Almost 7 AM and I've stayed up the night playing Resident Evil 5 on PS3. Guess what? I've beat the Boss and completed the game with a silver and unlocked unlimited ammo for my magnum and shotgun....all because I'm goddamn good at manipulating 17 year old boys to aid me in my game play. *Evil laugh*

          My guy friends say that I cheated with the help I received. BUT! I did it on my own merit lorh. So, Resident Evil 5 has 2 characters. Chris and Sheva. The default settings for offline play is playing the character of Chris while Sheva is an in-game partner. BUT, if you were to log on to the Playstation Network via internet, you can join game with another player, taking on either characters. So I sought out players with  bigger weapons (Grenade launcher and Rocket launcher) with unlimited ammo and asked them to aid me by being my partner in my game. And tada! I beat the boss.

    Ok, that's my 2 paragraphs on resident evil.

          Just the other day I was browsing Bluefly.com(a popular website with the New Yorkers). And unlike those pathetic sales we get in Singapore, where either the before and after price makes no differences or the items are shit. That's why I don't shop back there, only when I'm here. So, I was browsing the website and the prada purse caught my eyes..CB it was the last 1 left at US$235 and with promo code it was only US$215, but since google checkout fucked up my transaction, the sales person gave me additional discount, so in total I only paid US$200 or SIN$300 for this son of a bitch. Which is a fuckin' steal (I think). It's so much prettier than on picture.





    I would have gotten the turquoise one, but everything was gone but 1 last bronze purse. Then again, bronze looks nicer.

     
    So pretty right?!

    Oh yeah guess what? Remember the Charity event I was talking about? My name made it on the list of contributors.




    The event was about the plight of women in DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo), as a country at war within itself and with its neighboring countries over minerals (Diamonds and Coltans), the country itself is in turmoil with women often being the victims of war crimes by acts of physical violations. It's the last place any woman wants to be at.

    Many of these women were raped by multiple men and objects like rifles and logs and left to die as their own spouse rejected them. And often these women's sexual organs could never function normally again and some to the extent that incontinence will stay with them for life and not to mention the trauma and fears.

    What an awful world we live in. And I'm thankful that I live in a world where women's voices are heard and our rights exercised. Not to mention the many things I took for granted that I get to experience when a large part of women in the other part of the world never knew they existed.

    You know what grinds my gears? Peackniks who wear diamonds. And I'll make it a point to give them the face should I see these women at Charity events like these.

    I never liked diamonds and don't see the hype about it. It's just a stupid rock. I do have a few as gifts but never bought myself any. Yes, I already made it clear to boyfriend that I don't want a diamond ring. But whatever, diamonds aren't rare in reality, in fact, they are in abundance with the main diamonds companies controlling the diamond monopoly. Diamonds are in fact worthless and no offense but, I do thinks that women who are all about diamonds are stupid anyway to desire a piece of rock. But whatever fuck De beers. I'll talk about it the next post.

    And D was actually a little upset that I didn't bring him along to the event...but he already said that he thinks i'm a tree-hugger and honestly, I know most of the people around me aren't interested in charity stuff like this.


    Ok enough of these peacenik talks. Save the world can come later, for now I want to talk about sales at Victoria's Secrets.


    VS was having a 75% clearance sale on all their Very Sexy make up line. CB 75% is alot, so yeah, I bought enough make ups to last me even though most of them I don't need. D says he never understood why I feel the need to buy millions of make ups and lotions that my personal area looks like the make up counter of VS and Sephora and the shelves of bath & body works. Ok, end of story. When you got cheap shopping deals, you just feel like you have to tell everybody. Or is it just me.

    Anyway, it's saturday and D and I are going to his friend Jason's wedding later. I feel sorry for that guy for some reasons. But whatever, none of my business. going to bed.

Thursday, 25 June 2009

  • Bruno

     
    1 thing I don't quite get it....How does this guy turn in to this guy? (below)




    Borat to this?

    and I actually thought that Bruno is good looking and Borat was hard to look at.


Monday, 22 June 2009

  • Weekend away...

      The past weekend, I realized what an insensitive girlfriend I could be at times. D and I had a bad fight and a cold war for 2 days. He has always been the sweetest to me and is truly concerned about me. But, I admit, I could be such a flirt at times and that upsets him. But I know I love him very much and take comfort in knowing that he will always be there for me.


    21st June: Father's Day


      

    In Tubby's car to his mom and step-dad's lake house in Wisconsin.
    It was my 1st time meeting her and yes...I was a lil' nervous.




    The last time I was here, the summer houses were empty and the water chilly.
    Now that Summer's here, the lake was crowded with families on boats and jet skis!
    I want to go on the jet ski, but I left my bathing suit at home and plus, I can't swim. instead, baby and I spent the afternoon on the family's boat lazing around and talking.


    And to think I'm going to miss Tubby when I return home next month. Oh well.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

  • I think I'm full of shit when I'm consciously altered. Stupid but interesting shit...

Saturday, 20 June 2009

  • we'll always have Paris...

    and our mdsummer dnight dreams.


    mad man and lovershave such seethings brains such shapng fantasies.


    the lunatic
    the lover
    the poet

    the devil

    Helen's beauty

    fuck Hlen.


    We'll always have Paris.
     that september ngiht.

    and then i recalled why i broke up with yoou,

    nobody givrs a fuck about your stupid poetries, your rubbish music. your lame english humors. your ugly ass paintings.

    17 was fun, you were cute. goodbye.

  •    

    How can monogamy gets boring
    when you're constantly surprising me with -

    Oh My God, how did you do that?

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

  • Rihanned

     

    Can you see the 2 bruises on my nose bridge?!
    How am I going to face the world?! And worst of all, I'm having a Charity event to attend in 2 days.

    I'm so pissed with D!!!  He gets rough with me whenever we horseplay.(Drag me by my feet, haul me onto the couch and bed, twist my limbs) Not that I'm a pansy ass bitch, Travis and Roy play rough with me all the time, but they don't tackle me like as if we're playing football! He practically ninja-ed my nose. Stupid ang mo...He says I look like a cute Indian girl with that 2 dots on my nose. WTH do Indians get dots on their noses?!

    I'm so pissed!!! Neosporin ain't helping either.

Monday, 15 June 2009

  • Amen and fuck you

    YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF?

    Christian evangelists.

    Imagine how every week I go downtown to Chicago and every single fucking week I get that black preacher standing outside Old Navy telling me I'm going to hell. Every week he will come up with stupid remarks as I walk past...then again he does that to everyone.

    "You're not going to heaven if you're lighting up a cigarette"
    "You are not going to heaven if you listen to rock and roll"
    "You're not going to heaven if you only care about your louis vuitton"

    and when I said OH MY GOD to my friend...

    he said:"You're not going to heaven if you swear in the name of god"
    and then I said fuck. in reply to him

    he said:"You're not going to heaven for cursing."

    THIS GUY REALLY PISS ME OFF!!! Just one of these days...i'm going to karate whop his ass.

    Today I received an email from another evangelist (i have no clue how they got my email) titled:"WAKE UP! YOU'RE DYING!"

    Great! what a way to start my day.  It rant about JUDGEMENT DAY AND HOW I'M A GUILTY SINNER THAT'S GOING TO HELL IF I DON'T ACCEPT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AND REPENT.

    I usually tolerate these nonsense from christian evangelist (with my mom being the biggest one in my life) but these idiot just ruined the rest of my day by  telling me i'm going to hades....so in the crude fashion of Cornelia....I gave them a piece of my mind by replying:



    "No body gives a fuck about your religion. Jesus christ can suck my dick (if i have one). I HATE EVANGELISTS LIKE YOU and can't believe just how stupid all of you are. JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IT'S ALL IN HUMAN NATURE AND THOSE MORAL SHIT? it's just made up to control the masses. Stop shoving your beliefs in everyone's faces because people like us actually have a life. I can't believe you're actually wasting your time on stupid religion shit like this when you could spend it better by taking a dump or getting laid. So fuck you and anal fuck your god and take your bible and shove it up your christian ass. much love and Amen."

    Hope they leave me alone from now on.

Friday, 12 June 2009

  •  So Alice wqas invited to the tea party by the mad hatter. But it ws  adumb as fuck party. so alice left and came upon this beautiful arden in rhe trea.so she ate a  mushroom nd she shrank,and enters the garden.

    cinnabon wa s so good...ben afflecks...holy cow.

    goodnight


Thursday, 11 June 2009

  • Nellie's day out

    I've been having a bad cold the past week, probably caught it from someone in the city. And I've made it my personal mission to source out patisseries selling Macarons in Chicago. Not like there were many places selling Macarons in the 1st place and so far none of them have been really impressive even the bakery that was endorsed by Martha Stewart.



    And to think of it, I'll be back in Singapore in a month, gonna miss Kaitlin and Trent, and Tubby D the most.


    My calories/fat laced cupcake.



    Nellie had a play date with Kaitlin on Tuesday. Hopped on the metra to the city and was supposed to meet Dearie at Chinatown for some Vietnamese Pho. Guess what? Somebody(me) had a bowl of stupid for breakfast. So, I should have hopped on the Red line on L to Cermak-Chinatown and I went on the pink line to 54th/Cermak instead. Boy...I ended up in the hood. I knew I was in the wrong hood when I was the only asian girl around with boys hollering at me and then I saw Food 4 Less...Fuck my life.

    But I managed to get back on the L and Ta Da......! (Kaitlin almost killed me for being late)


    My very delicious ginormous bow of beef pho!

     
    Chili and bobo tea makes Nellie a very happy girl.

    "BOYS NOT BOMBS"
    that's what my tee says, if you're wondering. D thinks it's going to invite even more guys to approached me by wearing it to town. Idiot. We had a tiff over the weekend about some psycho dude who kept bombarding my phone and lectured me on giving my digits to guys who hit on me. Is there anything wrong with it? I mean, I gave it out of politeness since I find it hard to say no, not like I'm going out with these fellas. But whatever, my tee is so cute.


    Kaitlin and I on the L to state for some shopping!


    Anyway, Clairey - OH made fun of me baking chicken. Cheebye.

    My buttered/parsley/pepper/parpika marinated baked chicken. Looks good right?
    See...Nellie can fucking cook.

    and then the filet mignon I grilled the day before...

    Ok... It was actually a take out from the steak house.
    But my steak looked just the same I swear.

    Arrgh!!! I can't believe I'm getting more and more domesticated each day. I clean, I dust, I scrub the bathroom, I do the laundry and I am fucking cooking now. When I have 3 maids at home cleaning after me and whip up whatever I want to eat... Oh well, the things we do for love. The horror of it all.     

Tuesday, 09 June 2009

  • 2 fucking days ago since I last slept. My mom used to call me superwoman for my lack of need to sleep. But I'm not even sleepy. Damn my bipolar. Meeting Kaitlin dearie later downtown! Time to stuff my face silly in empty calories cupcakes and cookies...and I always have this immense urge to squander my money on stupid shopping, buying ridiculous things every week in the city. I'm addicted to Michigan ave and Oak street.

Saturday, 06 June 2009

  • Nellie no life

    Update: CCB....Sims 3 is horrible! Don't even buy it, it's not fun and it's infuriating. Luckier, I stole it from Best Buy. I would have killed myself for paying US$50 for this piece of crap.




    Just got my Sims 3 from Best Buy today!

    Going to revert back to my hermit lifestyle, staying home and glued to my mac playing the best game ever for the next thousand weeks.

    Goodbye world!


bleedingdirt_doll

  • Visit bleedingdirt_doll's Xanga Site
    • Name: Cornelia
    • Country: United States
    • State: Illinois
    • Metro: Chicago
    • Birthday: 9/24/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 9/30/2004
    • True

411

  • Religion: Myself
  • Interests: Philosophy, Conspiracy theories, Paranormal, Religions, Social science, Politics, Traveling, Haute Couture, Classic & Foreign Films, Tabloids
  • Expertise: Being a failure. My general knowledge is good but better at useless facts.
  • Occupation: Enjoying Life
  • Website: http://www.xanga.com/bleedingdirt_doll

About Her

Cornelia is the name.
20.Female.Libra.Agnostic.
Deviant.Dreamer.

Self-confessed Drama Queen in need of anger therapy
I'm often described as an Alpha Female, not a compliment of course.
I'm probably the most random person ever.
I try to live each day to the fullest.
I live in my own world, according to my own rules.
I think all girls are stupid and superficial...except myself.
That's the Narcissistic half of me talking.
I speak my mind and may appear harsh at times
But hey, at least I'm not pretentious.
Hate me or Love me, you decide.
I couldn't care much.

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